Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Single Gal's New Year's Eve

For unknown reasons, I have always romanticized New Year's Eve. The promise of a new beginning, fireworks, the chance and likely undelivered hope of a kiss. And most importantly, the excuse to purchase a new dress. If you know me at all, or have snooped in my closet, then you realize that I love dresses. Back in my southern women's college days, my dress purchases were beginning to border on addict levels. These days I have accept my dowdy spinster ways and the fact that veterinarians who inspect animal facilities in west Texas cannot show up in gowns and heels. In the words of my supportive but painfully honest mother, “Why do you need all those dresses when you sit alone on Friday nights.”

With a few notable exceptions, my New Year's Eve of late have been wildly underwhelming. In fact, I believe I went to bed at 11:30 pm last year just to spite the whole holiday I secretly dream about. With my good friends spread throughout the East Coast, and more importantly in serious relationships (let's face it New Year's in your late 20s is a couple's holiday) I don't have any plans. This year is no exception; unless I am magically gifted with a social life in the next 36 hours, I will spend another year flipping channels and going to bed 10 minutes before the new year. Thankfully, basic cable seems to understand my single girl woahs and has supplied with various all day marathons to occupy my sad excuse for a life. The real question is, do I spend New Year's Eve watching Without a Trace, NCIS, or CSI? Social recommendations are always accepted!

Happy New Year! Don't worry I have way more single gal tales for 2011.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Stuff Single People Don't Like

I am a huge fan of "Stuff white people like." Every time I read it, I can think of a half a dozen people (usually me as well) who fall into the topic of the day. My vet school roommate and I used to get endless laughs out of the website and last Christmas, when my best friend gave me the peel a day calender, well let's just say it made my 2010.

So anyone who knows me, knows that I am a chronic, habitual single gal. Even during a three-year period of time, when I thought I wasn't single and was off stupidly planning a dream life with a man, well come to find out I was even single then. For whatever reasons, men are not interested in me beyond the study partner or awesomely asexual cousin-esc relationship. The point of this is not for you to feel sorry for me (though I know all of you smug relationship people can't help it). The point is, in a world that has a Noah's ark mentality, certain things drive me insane. So I came up with the idea of weekly installments of "Stuff Single People Don't Like". Let's face it, we have all been single at some point (or in my case all points) and everyone can probably related.

So here is this week's thoughts. Jewelry Store TV Commercials- especially anything that Kay Jewelers produces. What is worse than a completely unrealistic commercial with diamonds and over the top professions of love- oh I know how about a Christmas Jewelry Store commercial. The following commercial is so bad, I usually frantically search for the remote to change the channel. If I can't get to the remote in time, I have a visceral reaction to the commercial that involves the following" OH GAG" (loudly pronounced), an eye roll, and a dry heave noise.

Seriously Kay???? "It's ok, I am right here [dramatic pause] and I always will be." "Promise to never let go." I gagged just typing it. Give her diamonds in the design that captures the love found in each others arms. Thank you Kay for stabbing me, twisting the knife, and then for added measure pouring caustic substances in the wound.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Old, but looks young

In three short weeks, I will turn 27. Twenty-seven is deeply rooted middle/late twenties. I am staring at thirty and it seems alarmingly close. If you had told me in high school that at 27 I would be chronically single, living in an area with no trees and extremely little to do, and that I had managed to find the only career in veterinary medicine in which I was universally hated, why I would most likely have developed a substance abuse problem. Oh course, if I had developed a substance abuse problem, I would have ended up here... but that was not the point of this musing.

So, despite getting close to the end of my twenties journey, I look like I just started it. I look young, really young. Yes, yes I imagine that I will get great thrills out of looking ten years longer when I am in forties, but for now it is a source of much annoyance. I appear to most people to fall into the range of 20-22. No amount of hairstyles, clothing choices, or makeup can alter this. Don't believe me check out the sample pictures above (high school senior photos and a recent one). The best recent example is as follows.

The other week I was in the hopping town of Searcy, Arkansas at the post office. In typical Cara fashion, I had been suckered into something I had no real interest in doing, but here is the secret kids- I can't say no. I mean I can't; it borders on a pathological problem. Need a kidney, just ask me; want someone to carry your child, sure why not. Anyway, this task happened to be that I am on my college's reunion giving committee. I was mailing off some paperwork for said job and it was in a large manilla envelope addressed to Sweet Briar College. The postman asked the usual questions, "Want to insure this for $100, priority overnight delivery, etc." My reply, "Oh no, it's nothing important." The postman looks down and the envelope looks back up at me and says, "But this is your future!" I maybe a Doctor in her late twenties, but it is refreshing to know that everyone thinks I am 17!!! Perhaps that is why I am still single, men just assume that dating me would be like an express ticket to jail.